Memories
by allejay
Summary: What if Tris wakes up after 28 hours of death? Tobias isn't informed of this in time so he takes the memory serum in depression. All his memories of her are gone.
1. Chapter 1

Memories

* * *

PROLOGUE

Tris

When I was shot, I thought it was all over. I did what I had to do. I saved Chicago and the rest of the United States. My mother lifted me up into the sky with her and now, genetically damaged people are equal to genetically pure people. They're free.

After the two bullets entered my body and I pressed the green button, which released the memory serum virus, my first thought was that I accomplished my single task. My last thought was of _him_.

* * *

CHAPTER 1

Tris

It seems like forever that my mom holds me in an embrace. When she finally pulls back, tears stain her cheeks, and she smiles.

'I'm so proud of you,' she says, sniffling.

I smile back at her, but she can tell that the smile hasn't reached my eyes, because her smile slowly drops.

'But I think you want to live. And I don't think it's time for you to stay here forever.' she says slowly.

It's the first time since I've come up that I notice the space that encircles me. I look down. Are we standing on – clouds? And then I look up. It's bright blue. We're in the sky. Ahead of me there is a crystal staircase, leading up to Heaven, I think. But after everything I've done, why am I here? I've committed terrible crimes, and my faith in God isn't even established. I guess it is now.

'Why am I here?' I finally ask, 'after everything I've done?' I look up into my mother's pale green eyes.

'Because,' she pauses, 'God is forgiving. Before you died, you sacrificed yourself for the greater good.' That's something David used to say, but he didn't really understand the true meaning. 'And you saved your brother from a terrible fate. You may have killed or betrayed people before, but it's what you do after that that counts. You rebuilt yourself into a strong, independent woman.' she says, smiling again.' I feel a twinge of pain as she says betray, because I remember when I betrayed Tobias and worked with his father. I hug her and hold her familiar body close to me. I know what she's about to offer. After a while, I pull away.

'So I'm giving you a choice. You can either come up those stairs with me and stay in Heaven,' she turns and points to the beautiful staircase, 'Or you can go back down to Earth.'

* * *

Surprisingly, I know what I'm going to say immediately. She sees my eyes perk up, but for her sake I act like I'm having a hard time deciding. I scratch the back of my neck to emphasize the gesture.

I'm surprised by how long my hair has gotten. It's as long as it was when I first joined Dauntless. When I cut it, I secretly regretted it, because I took part of myself away from me. Now being a warrior sickens me.

'Oh come on, I know you want to go back down, don't stay here for me. Please. I just want you to be happy.' she says, snapping me out of my daze. 'Tobias needs you. He really does.' she says.

'Okay…' I say, 'Can I go back down?'

'Of course.' She says, running her fingers through my dull blonde hair with a melancholic smile.

We hug for God knows how long and then she takes a deep breath. As she kisses my cheek, she whispers, 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' I say.

I take one long, last look at her beautiful face before I fall down, because I won't see her for a long time, and I need her image engraved in my mind.

I fall through the clouds, towards rushing black water, which I think is supposed to be Lake Michigan restored with water. Expecting the terrible impact, I wake up with a jolt.

* * *

Tobias

I stand in my bathroom in the Abnegation sector and slide the panel that covers the mirror. My hair is short now; I cut it a couple of hours ago. My eyes are swollen and bloodshot. I couldn't sleep last night. Tris died barely two days ago. She _died_ and I feel isolated and lonely. She sacrificed herself for Caleb – why? That coward led her to her own execution in Erudite headquarters.

I stare at myself, one fist clenched and the other wrapped around a vial of serum. Memory serum. I want to forget. Forget everything that happened, even if it means losing my memories of her. I can't heal – I won't heal.

I have no one. I have no parents, Zeke hates me for what happened to Uriah and I can't stand to face Christina or Cara who were so close to Tris. Everything reminds me of her. The birds that whistle in the morning, the golden glow of the sunset, the brisk wind. Everywhere I go, my memories of her replay in my mind, coming with such pain I want it to end.

I don't care if this isn't what she would've wanted. This is my decision this time. I slowly lift the vial to my mouth and tip it down.

Then I hear a knock. I set the vial on the cabinet. I look through the small window overlooking the front of the small, grey Abnegation house and see Zeke standing there, bouncing on his toes from the cold. He senses my gaze and looks up. Our eyes meet for a brief moment and then I look away. I don't want to talk to him, not now. I will when I'm a new person, and he can give me a second chance.

* * *

I hear the door break open.

'Damn it!' I say and go back to the sink. My heart is pounding. I pick up the rounded vial. I feel every vein in my body throbbing with anticipation. Footsteps. I look towards the closed door.

'Concentrate.' I mutter under my breath. The door opens and I poor the white liquid down my throat.

'What are you doing, man?!' Zeke screams, eyeing the vial. He runs towards me and grabs me by the shoulders. My vision is going blurry and the corners of my eyes have black dots in them. I fall to the floor against the sink, losing consciousness. My sensations are leaving me.

'Look at me! Look at me Tobias!' he screams at me, though all I hear is a faint whisper. 'Stay with me! Come _on_!'

'Goodbye…' is all I can say as I trail off.

Then it's all black.


	2. Chapter 2

Memories

CHAPTER 2

Tris

My eyes open immediately, the last thing I remember is hitting the hard, cold tarmac. The light in the room hurts, and it reminds me of Erudite headquarters. There is a rapid beeping coming from the heart monitor machine. Someone is holding my hand. Their grip becomes relatively firmer as they see me. I look at them and my vision becomes less foggy, making out Christina's short black hair and soft, brown eyes.

'Oh my God,' she says, her eyes widening, 'Oh my God! Tris! What the hell? This isn't happening. I'm hallucinating.' she closes her eyes and pinches herself. She waits several seconds.

'You done yet?' I say in a raspy voice. My throat is really dry. I need water.

'Umm, I'll go get the doctor.' she says, clearly confused. Christina rushes out of the room at a half walk, half jog without looking back.

She comes back with a doctor and two nurses, who look bewildered. The doctor is in a white medical robe, with blue medical pants. He has grey hair, cropped like the Abnegation and a small grey beard. His eyes are an inviting brown.

'Tris,' the doctor says, 'I'm Dr Stone. You've been dead for 28 hours.' he finishes. 28 hours… no wonder Christina was flipping out. I wonder how Tobias is.

'I'm going to go… tell the others.' Christina says, between breaths. She walks out the room and looks back at me, giving me a worried smile. Why is she worried?

'I… need water.' I manage. One of the nurses, the tall one with blonde hair flowing down her back leaves the room to get me some.

'I just need to take a few observations. It is very, _very _rare that people in your state resurrect after more than 12 hours. Nearly impossible.' he stares at me straight in the eye and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm a little awkward with strangers, but he's definitely wearing a mask.

After having given me some water, which felt like paradise down my throat; and performing some observations including shining a bright light in my eye to see if I'm blind or not, Dr Stone advises me to stay in the hospital for the night. We bantered for a while but I finally won, and he gives me a bag with some vitamins and painkillers and a neck brace. He tells me to stay on bed rest, but I doubt I will. I can't wait to see Tobias, to feel his warm skin, to feel his full lips, to see his intensifying eyes…

'Tris!' Cara yells at me, running down the hall to see me. We're in the Bureau, so she's probably helping the confused, memory-free people. She looks me over. 'You look pale.' she says, frowning.

'I'm great, thanks, how are you?' I tease, smiling. Cara isn't really the hugging type, so she just shakes my hand. Very Erudite of her.

She asks me questions about what I saw when I went up, and I tell her the whole story, except I replace my mother with my uncle. It's selfish, but I want my mom to myself. I don't want anyone else to know about it.

'I bet you're excited to see Tobias…' Cara says sensitively, 'He'll be ecstatic to see you, he's been in pretty rough shape. So has Christina.' My heart sinks. I suddenly ache to see both of them again, and I feel so bad I left them here alone.

'How bad?' I ask.

Cara waits a few seconds and then says hesitantly, 'Christina's been sitting my your bed in the hospital for over a day,' she pauses, 'Tobias has been in his house in the Abnegation sector all day, drinking.' We turn into the tunnel full of lights.

'Urggg great. This is all my fault.' I say looking down. A red light beams on my face. Cara stops and puts her hand on my shoulder.

'No, Tris, it's not your fault. He thinks his girlfriend is dead. He's grieving. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be at peace with each other. No offence, but I don't think Caleb would've been able to do it.' she tells me. She doesn't seem worried about Christina. Neither am I, because all she was doing was staying by my side. Tobias went off drinking, who knows what he could've done.

And then that's when I see him.

Tobias.

I run towards him, I can't wait any longer. Zeke is saying something to him, but I don't care. I jump onto him and wrap my legs around his waist. I don't care what Dr Stone said. I don't care about anyone or anything but him. A blue light shines on us. I like this color blue. It's dark but it has a hint on brightness to it.

'Tobias.' I say and kiss him full on the mouth. I take in his smell. Fresh wind and sweat. His arms are muscular… what?

He drops me and pushes me away and yells, 'Stop! What the hell are you doing?'

'What do you mean?' I ask, my eyes welling up. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. My shoulders go slack and my heart aches. He doesn't love me anymore. He hates me for leaving him. My lip trembles, warning me that I'm going to cry. Zeke puts a hand around my shoulders, looking from me to Tobias.

'He drank memory serum. I couldn't stop him. He doesn't know who you are – hell, he doesn't even know who he is! I'm so, so sorry.' he says slowly. I can sense he's looking at me, but I look away. I need to distract myself. This isn't happening. Cara, I think, says something to Zeke, holds my arm and walks me down the tunnel. She's bringing me to Christina's temporary apartment in the city so she can look after me. The city. I don't want to go there. There are too many bad memories of my parents, of Will, of Tobias…

Cara is speaking to me, but it comes in one ear and goes out the other. I'm too distracted by what happened. Tobias drank the serum because of me. He drank it because of _me_. It's my fault, and I don't care if Cara says it's not, because it is. I went in the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb and got shot twice, in my arm and in my neck.

But then I wouldn't have saved Chicago. Caleb without a doubt would've dropped down and died since David was there. It reminds me of what my mother said: you have to make sacrifices for the greater good. I guess Tobias was my sacrifice. But I love him.

And he's gone. I'll never get him back, not in the same way. The light shifts to purple.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Tobias

* * *

My name is Tobias Eaton. I'm 18 years old. I come from an experiment in a city called Chicago. I have four fears, that's why some people refer to me as 'Four'. My parents are alive but are very busy. I have friends, only a few of who's names I remember: Christina, Cara, Zeke, Caleb, Peter, Matthew. I have a girlfriend called Tris. I have severe memory loss because I was testing out serums for a chemist and I drank memory serum by accident.

These are all things people have told me these past few days. They are telling me my past, and it's making a lot more sense, but who are they to tell me who I am? The girl who ran up to me in the tunnel of lights is Tris. She's my girlfriend, but I don't want her to be my girlfriend. Since when to people make decisions for me? But I can't help myself but remember the love in her eyes when she ran towards me, and the hurt in them when I pushed her away from me. Of course I want to know more about her, but I just don't like to be tied down to something I have nothing to do with. As far as I remember, which doesn't help.

The doctors say I need to stay here for three more days before I'm allowed to go, leave this place. Every patient is discharged after a week of surveillance. Zeke came twice to visit me, telling me more about myself, and about him. He brought me around the Bureau and showed me different places, like the atrium garden, the room with all the screens, and he pointed out an airplane. There is nothing to do here, except walk and talk, and I'm sick of talking.

'I'm going for a walk.' I say, but I don't know who I'm saying it to, because there's no one else in the room. I shake my head. If I stay in this place any longer, I'll go mad. I need fresh air. I walk to the atrium garden, because it's the closest I can get to outdoors.

* * *

When I get there, the sunlight streaks through the walls, which are made of glass. The flowers are lush and alive with color. I take in the smell of greenery and life.

And then I remember something.

* * *

She laughs, 'What? You don't think I can handle it?' she questions, somewhat defensive.

* * *

I fall hard against one of the boulders in the garden. I feel like all my energy has been sucked out of me with a vacuum. What was that? I don't remember that. The flash of blonde, the hazy laugh, the question she asked me. Did this… happen before the accident? No, that's impossible. I'm not supposed to remember anything. The doctors said there was a 0% chance that I would remember anything. Then what did I remember?

'Hey are you okay?' a girl's voice says, interrupting my thoughts. She walks over to me. My vision is foggy, and I can't make out who she is.

'Uhhh… yeah.' I say, irritated. My vision is clearing up. Blonde hair, blue-grey eyes. Tris. I half-stand, half-stumble to my feet.

'Well… umm. I'm Tris.' she introduces herself, putting out her hand for me to shake.

'Yeah. I know,' I say, and I don't shake her hand, 'Why are you here?' Her hand drops back to her side and she looks down. A piece of blonde hair falls in her face.

'Cara wanted me to come help her with the patients. I have nothing to do. I'm on bed rest.' she says, tucking the strand behind her ear.

'Then why aren't you in bed?' I ask, looking at her.

She looks up, 'You have a lot of questions for a girl you don't even know.' she says, raising her eyebrows, looking slightly annoyed.

'You're right; I don't know you. But they tell me you're supposed to be my girlfriend.' I tell her firmly. I'm being so defensive. She just came at the wrong time. I need to know more about what just happened.

She winces at 'girlfriend', 'Yeah, but I guess I'm just a stranger to you now. I'm going to go.' she turns to leave, but I grab her shoulder.

'Wait. Why are you talking to me? You don't know me anymore.' she doesn't turn around.

'Because I love you. I know you're still in there somewhere.' she says over her shoulder. She walks away.

* * *

What she said rings in my head all day. She still believes in me, because she still loves me. I lay on my bed and run my hands through my hair. I'm sweating. Why does it bother me so much? Is it because her feelings for me aren't mutual? Because I pity her? It can't be; I wouldn't be so hyped up about it. Could it be because she has hope when everyone else is sure that I'm gone for good? Hope that one day I'll wake up and remember everything? Maybe I can talk to her about what I saw, but I don't think it's a good idea.

I get up and go to the sink to drink some water. I've been wearing the same clothes for days and I smell like sweat. I take my black shirt off and bend over to drink from the tap. The water is cold against my lips, and when I stand straight again, something catches my eye.

A tattoo of flames wraps around my ribcage. I put my hands to it. No one told me about this. I turn around so that my back faces the mirror and turn my head to the side so I can see.

There are five circles with different symbols in them inked down my spine. The two top ones are larger than the others. Fire, a hand holding a hand, a weight balance, an eye and a tree.

'I don't want to be just one thing; I can't be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, smart, and kind, and honest.' I clear my throat, 'I continually struggle with kindness.'

I crash down to the floor, and this time, I lose consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Tris

* * *

I twist and turn all night. I can't sleep. I roll to my side and look at the alarm clock. It reads: 2:27AM. With a groan I get up to go to the kitchen. I'm starving. I haven't eaten since lunch. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I sleepily walk towards the kitchen door. I notice the slits around the door are glowing. Someone is inside. My heart starts racing, my eyes alert. My walking is no longer slumberous, it is stealthy and cautious. I grab the doorknob with precision.

1…

2…

3…

I can feel my heartbeat in my chest. I twist the doorknob and barge the door open in a big movement.

Christina sits at the table with a bowl of cereal.

'Someone's frisky.' she remarks, laughing.

'Damn you! I thought you were an intruder! Why are you up at 2 oclock' in the morning?' I exclaim, my heartbeat steadying.

'Couldn't sleep. Here, sit.' she pats the seat of a cushioned white chair, 'What about you? Why are you up?' she asks.

'Same reason as you; I couldn't sleep.' I say, sitting down in the chair. The walls of the kitchen are white, with marble countertops and a large window over-looking the city. I look out the window over the sleeping city and past the fence; which is being taken down, 'Why couldn't you sleep?' I ask.

'Nightmares about Will.' she says. I suddenly feel misplaced and awkward in this homely kitchen. I killed Will. I'm responsible for her nightmares, 'What about you?' she asks me.

'Tobias.' I say. Christina nods. I get myself a bowl of the same cereal Christina is eating – some sort of honey wheat cereal – and we sit together in silence while we finish our midnight snack.

When we finish, we rinse our bowls, turn the lights off in the kitchen and close the door.

'Goodnight.' I say as I turn to the left towards my room.

'Wait, Tris,' Christina says. I stop and turn to her, 'Don't worry about Tobias. He just needs time. Sure, he won't remember any of your memories together, but you'll make some new ones. I know it.' she gives me a small smile.

'I wish that were true… he's already told me he's not interested in having me as a girlfriend.' I say sadly.

'Just give him time.' she says and walks to the right, where her room is.

I crawl back into the empty bed and doze off with the help of a few painkillers.

* * *

The light streams in through the window, waking me up. I flutter my eyes open and look around the room that's glowing orange with the sunshine. I'm still getting used to this apartment.

Christina is already gone to work. She's assigning people of the city to apartments around town. She leaves me a note on the kitchen table:

_Tris,_

_I've gone to work, you were fast asleep so I didn't want to wake you up._

_If you want, when you wake up, you can volunteer to clean the Dauntless compound with the others. Zeke is, so you can catch up with him._

_See you soon,_

_-Christina_

I shiver at the thought of entering the Dauntless compound. Too many painful memories of where my father died. But I need to help around the city. Christina knows I don't want to stay on bed rest, and my neck is feeling slightly better, so I decide to go. I pop a few vitamins and painkillers and go.

* * *

I jog down the side of the tracks as I hear the rumble of the train. Boy do I miss doing this. Then I break into a spring as the train approaches, deafening to my ears. My eyes fix on a handle near one of the open doors and I grab onto it and swing myself into the train. I feel giddy with happiness and let out a gentle laugh. I remember Dr Stone's words: 'No physical activity' like a grasshopper in my mind. It's here one second, and then it's gone.

'Hi Tris, didn't realize you were helping out.' Zeke's voice says from the other side of this carriage. I turn around to face him as he comes towards me.

'Christina suggested it, actually.' I say, giving a half-hearted smile.

'Well, there's plenty to do. It's a mess from last time we were there and paintballed all over the place.' he laughs.

'So… how's Shauna?' I ask. Last time I saw her, she was in a wheelchair, half-alive.

'She's great, actually! Cara and Caleb designed these sort of fake legs for her. They say she'll be able to run, eventually.' he says. Caleb. I haven't seen him since I died. Did nobody tell him I was alive? Is he still grieving? I should go visit him soon. He's in the Bureau working with Cara, but last time I went I didn't see him.

'That's great.' I say, and I mean it. Our stop is close, and we prepare to jump. I bounce on the balls of my feet, adrenaline running through my veins.

And I jump.

Searing pain runs through my neck and arm as I roll through the gravel on the roof, because I forgot about them before I jumped. I whimper out in pain and Zeke runs over to me.

'Shit, Tris!' he says. I guess we both forgot my injuries, 'How are we going to get in? I forgot about what happened.' he finishes.

'So did I…' I say, clutching my neck. I think about the drop into the net. There's no way out, now. I jumped off the train, so I can't get back in, 'But we have no choice. We can't go back now, so I need to jump and then we get help. I need to go to the Bureau anyways, to get some more painkillers and to see Caleb.' I say.

Zeke shakes his head, 'You're crazy.' he says.

'Don't worry. My neck doesn't hurt that bad… it's in a brace.' I say, trying to make him agree to let me jump.

'Fine. You jump and then we go back to the Bureau to your doctor.' he says with a serious tone. I grimace at him and I stand up. Together, we walk over to the edge of the roof.

'I'll go first so I can help you when you land.' he says, dropping off the roof with no difficulty. I hear the spring of the net as he bounces off of it.

'CLEAR!' he shouts up the hole.

I step onto the edge of the roof and take a deep, long breath. And then I drop. I fall through the air, the wind rushing through my hair, and for a second I feel like a bird. I land with one sharp pang of pain, but besides that, I'm not too hurt. I was expecting worse.

'You okay?' Zeke asks as he pulls me off the net.

'Yeah, actually. It really didn't hurt too bad.' I say.

'Alright, lets go.' he says, walking towards the front entrance, 'Hey Tabitha - can we borrow your car please? We need to go to the Bureau.' he says to a girl with auburn hair, cut like Christina's. She looks at me with a look of disgust.

'Why?' she asks. She has a nasally voice. Maybe I'm thinking that because I don't like her already.

'Tris hurt herself and needs to see her doctor.' Zeke says jerking his head towards me.

'Fine. But I want it back, not a scratch on it.' she says, tossing the keys to him. He catches them in his left hand and we walk out the front doors.

'She seems like a ball of sunshine.' I remark in a monotonous voice. Zeke laughs while twirling the keys on his finger. He stops next to a really, really old looking car. It's a dull red color with windows that you have to roll-down with a handle.

As I open the door to the passenger's seat, it makes a terrible squeaking sound. I sit down, slam the door shut and Zeke drives on.

* * *

'Nothing too serious, just a little irritation to the wound.' Dr Stone says, inspecting my neck, 'I think the brace is okay to take off in a week or so. Just don't do anything that makes your neck uncomfortable. As for the arm, well, it'll get better with time.' he says, handing me a bag with painkillers in it.

'Do you know where Caleb Prior is? He's been helping with the patients who've been affected by the memory serum.' I ask.

'No, sorry. But Sofia might know. She's down the hall and to the left, at the reception desk.' he explains.

'Thank you. Goodbye.' I say, wave goodbye and hurry away, while he waves back to me. Zeke waits for me outside the observation room, 'Zeke, you can head on without me. I'll get a truck back later. I need to talk with my brother. Thank you for everything.' I tell him.

He nods, 'Anytime, I'll see you soon, Tris!' he says, and walks away.

I walk to the reception desk at the end of the hall to find a young woman who has an ear missing sitting at a desk.

'Hi,' I say. She looks up. She's pretty; her skin is a warm brown, her hair long and black and her eyes a dark green, 'Do you know where Caleb Prior is?' I ask her. She smiles at me.

'He's in one of the labs. He can't be missed, it's basically empty over there.' she informs me. She even gives me a map of how to get there.

'Thank you.' I say and walk away. As I turn the corner, I crumble the map in a ball and stuff it in my jean pocket.

I know this place too well to need instructions.

* * *

I amuse myself by avoiding the cracks in the wide, tiled hallway. I glance from left to right into every lab but the only people there are the ones who were affected by memory serum.

I spot a tall boy with dark brown hair in a lab coat in one of the labs at the end of the hall. His back is facing me and it seems he's… studying something. I walk over to him and tap him on the shoulder.

'Hi Caleb.' I say, not knowing whether to be happy or angry to see him. He hasn't visited me for five days after all.

'Beatrice.' he says, turning around. His eyes widen, and he smiles, 'So it's true. You're alive.'

'Well I'm standing here, aren't I?' I retort, but suddenly regret it, 'Why haven't you visited me?' I ask him, looking into his emerald eyes.

'I've made a very, very important discovery.' he says, in such a serious tone I know he means it's worth more than visiting me.

I look around the room. He has papers and dioramas all over the walls. Books all over the place. Only now do I notice his eyes are swollen red from exhaustion. He's becoming obsessed, and whatever it's about is serious.

* * *

Afternote: Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the favorites/follows/reviews. outside the crayon box asked how long it was going to be, and honestly I have no clue because I haven't planned out the story. It's going to be fairly long, because I don't want to rush anything, but it's not going to be extremely long either because when I get back to school I will be insanely busy with exams and activities and all. So... yeah! Please continue to read the book, and I always love to hear what you think about it - whether it's through PM or review!


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

* * *

Tris

'What it is?' I ask Caleb, furrowing my eyebrows. He takes a deep breath and holds it, then lets it out.

'The day you woke up, which by the way, no one told me you did, I hacked into Jeanine Matthews computer data with the help of a few other Erudites.' he says. He looks at me, searching for a reaction. He must be waiting for me to compliment him.

'Continue.' I say, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing me say it. He grimaces. He doesn't continue to speak, 'What? What's wrong?' I ask, starting to get a little worried.

'I'm not saying this could be true in Tobias' case, but…' he hesitates.

'What?!' I'm almost screaming at him now; I can't stay patient anymore, 'Just spit it out, Caleb!'

'Well I found something about a memory card or something… I've been doing research for three or four days now, and I've learned that when you insert the memory card inside someone's body, everything that's said or done is processed to both the brain and the card. It's like a hard drive, a back-up brain.' he explains.

'So you're saying that… if someone ingests memory serum, it wipes their brain, but not necessarily the card?' I guess, growing hopeful. "Stop getting your hopes up. Tobias would've told me if he was experimented on while we were in Erudite headquarters." I tell myself.

'Correct,' he says, 'The card is most likely placed near the brain, so the information doesn't have to travel far. I need to test anyone who's been experimented on in Erudite headquarters, and that includes you.' he pauses, 'Jeanine may have not told the test subject that they were being experimented on, so she could've done it while you were asleep, with the influence of drugs, of course.' he says, 'So could you please try to convince Tobias to be tested? He'll never listen to me, because he doesn't know me which means he doesn't trust me.' he asks, showing clear in his eyes that this is something he wants. This is something I want, too. Any chance of getting Tobias back is all I want.

'Caleb… I don't know. I don't think he'll listen to me.' I admit to him.

'You'll be surprised. He may not be keen, but he will listen to you. You're the closest person to him that he was told he knows. Just give it a shot, please?' he asks. He gets down on his knees and locks his fingers together. I laugh. He can be such a nerd sometimes.

'Okay, okay. I'll try. Only because you begged me.' I smile at him with all my teeth. Even when I hate him, he makes me want to laugh.

'Thank you, Beatrice. I won't let you down this time.' he promises.

As we say goodbye and I walk away, I can't help but think if he's only doing this for my sake, or if he's doing it because he really wants to.

* * *

Tobias

I wake up hooked up to an machine. Blood streams through a tube into a vein on my hand. I look around. I'm not in my room anymore. Anger fills my face. They agreed they would let me stay in a private room if they checked up on me everyday. Then why am I here?

The anger slowly fades away as I remember what happened last night. My head buzzes. Someone walks into the room. She looks to be in her mid 50s, gentle wrinkles starting to appear on her face. Her hair is dulling with age.

'Hello Mr Eaton,' she says, smiling. She purses her lips together, 'When we came to check up on you last night, you were unconscious, bleeding from your head. It seems that you hit it on your sink. You lost quite a lot of blood.'

'No, no. I wasn't unconscious because of that…' I start, then realize I shouldn't have said anything. If they find out what's been happening to me, they'll experiment on me.

The lady furrows her eyebrows, 'What do you mean? Did something else happen?' she asks, clearly confused.

I put my hand to my head and frown, acting as if I'm in deep thought.

'Sorry, I must have been mistaken. I'm just a little disorientated, you know? Yes, I remember now. I tripped and bashed my head on my sink, and then it was all black.' I say, attempting to smile in confirmation to be more convincing.

'Right…' she says, sounding unconvinced, 'Anyhow, you have to stay here until you've gone through a couple of bags.' she points to the blood bag connected to the machine, 'You should be able to leave tonight or tomorrow morning.' she finishes. Her pager beeps repeatedly.

'Oh dear, I have to go!' she says, hurrying out of the room, leaving me in this cold empty room.

* * *

There is one window in the room. It's not very big, but we're on one of the higher floors and I can look out over the land just far enough to see a building with two prongs sticking off the top. I'm eager to go into the city. I want to know what's in there, why a lot of people cry or shiver when someone mentions it.

Maybe I can start a new life there. Where people don't feed me information about myself, though they're starting to treat me normally again. Where I can recreate myself and just be me, and not who everyone tells me I am. I can runaway now, if I want to. But something is holding me back. Maybe I like who they tell me I am, and am just too stubborn to accept it. Maybe there's a part of me that wants to stay here. Maybe it's _her_.

For the rest of the day I listen to doctors speaking outside about me. There is a lot of dispute going on. Some say I'm in an unstable position and have to stay in the Bureau for another week. Some say I will be fine once my blood count goes up, whatever that is. All I know is that I've been patient, and I have two days until I have free will.

* * *

Afternote: Howdy there! So I know I only wrote one chapter yesterday, but that was because I wrote a lot on Easter. My last chapter was twice as long as they normally are, but that was because I couldn't cut off anywhere to give a good effect. I hope you like this chapter, it's starting to form the book a little better. I might not write as much today or tomorrow, because I'm going back home from vacation so I'll be on the plane for 8 hours. Good news, though! During those 8 hours, I'll have the chance to write a lot, so even though I can't post them on the plane, I will when I get home, and hopefully you'll have a lot to read.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Tobias

* * *

It's decided. I have to stay here another week because I'm 'unstable'. I'm still hooked up to the horrible machine; it keeps beeping every hour or so and someone has to come in to make it stop. I feel like I can hear every sound or movement. I busy myself by sitting at the window, imagining a new life.

Someone knocks on the door.

'Come in.' I sigh, without turning to see who it is. It's probably the doctor.

'Uhh, hi.' a girl says awkwardly. Her voice sounds familiar. I furrow my eyebrows as I turn around. It's Tris.

'Hi Tris,' I say. I feel bad for how I treated her the other day, 'Sorry for the other day… It was just bad timing…' I say, scratching the back of my neck.

'Consider it water under the bridge.' she says. I don't know why, but I heave a sigh of relief.

'Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?' I ask. She must have a reason. She doesn't seem like the type of person who just drops by to say hi.

'Oh, no reason.' she says, and I see right through her, she's hiding something. She sits at the edge of the foot of my bed, ready to leap off at any second if something happens.

'So how are you, honestly?' she asks, and she gives off the impression that she's genuinely concerned.

'I'm fine,' I lie. She raises her eyebrows at me and smiles a little. Something about her lifts my spirits – I laugh, 'Fine, I'm not. I'm bored and sick of the smell of antiseptic and of this stupid machine.' I say, kicking the machine, 'What happened to you?' I ask, pointing at her brace.

'What happened to you?' she repeats, pointing at my head. I forgot I had a bandage wrapped around my head.

'You have a lot of questions for a boy you don't know,' I say. She laughs, 'I asked you first, anyways.' I say.

She changes her position and sits cross-legged. She hesitates before she speaks, 'Uhm, I… got shot.' she says, her eyes shifting across the floor. I decide not to probe any more; I don't want her to become uncomfortable.

'I fainted and bashed my head on my sink.' I say. She doesn't ask anything more of me, probably returning the favor. I don't want to talk about it either.

'So how many days do you have left in this place?' she asks, locking eyes with me. There's something there, in her eyes; is it longing?

'I was supposed to be discharged tomorrow, but since I hurt myself they want me to stay another week.' I explain, frowning. The thing I saw earlier in her blue eyes is gone.

'That sucks.' she says.

'It does.' I respond.

* * *

We remain quiet for a long time. She sits cross-legged on my bed and I sit on the chair next to the window. There are moments when our eyes meet, but she always looks away like she's scared to stare into my eyes. Does she think I'm intimidating?

The silence is nice when someone is around. Instead of the emptiness I felt when I was alone, I feel comforted. She understands me so well, too well. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she came here because she was lonely, like me.

After a while, she speaks up, 'I can get you out.' she announces, a determined look on her face.

I laugh and shake my head, 'Sure, Tris.' I say through a smile. I'm surprised at how her name rolls off my tongue. I'm sure I've said it many times before since I forgot everything.

'I'm serious,' she throws a pillow at me. I catch it before I can take the blow, and throw it back at her. She catches it in similar fashion. It's impressive, 'I can get you out if you want. You can stay in one of the apartments in the Hancock. Sorry, I mean in the building I'm staying in, in the city. Or somewhere else if you want…' she tells me, twiddling with the pillow in hand.

I grow hopeful, 'How are you planning to do that?' I ask, testing her.

'I can get you your clothes from your former room. And then we just run. If anyone notices just delay them and move on.' she explains.

'Are you serious? Would you do that?' I ask, becoming more excited to get out by the second.

'Dead serious. What number was your previous room?' she asks.

'32.' I say, as she walks off, 'Hey, Tris?' I hold her back.

'Yeah?' she asks, looking over her shoulder.

'Thanks.' I say.

She nods and walks out the door.

* * *

After I change, we get ready to go. For the first time today, I notice how fierce Tris looks. The way her eyes turn to stone when she gets locked into warrior mode. It's resplendent. We open the door and I walk behind her, my head bowed under a black beanie that's covering my bandage.

She walks quickly and swiftly, barely making a sound with her feet. My heart beats faster and faster the further we go from my room. I hear a shout. Tris breaks into a run, her blonde hair bounces on her back and I follow her, my adrenaline pumping. A security guard, coming from nowhere, grabs her arms behind her back and she kicks him in the leg. He's too big for her, he probably didn't feel her kick. I punch him in the jaw, forcing him to let go as he clutches his face. We run to the end of the hallway and down some narrow metal stairs. There are people chasing behind us. I hear Tris starting to pant as we run through wide hallways, and she looks lost. I don't think she knows how to get out without get stopped by security guards. My heart is in my throat now. We're going to get caught.

'What now?' I yell towards her.

'Trust me.' she says, and she does something unexpected. She jumps through the window.

The glass shatters all around her small frame, the sound piercing through my ears like a blade. An alarm sounds from all around, but it seems distant. I push myself through the low window after her and help her up. Her face is bleeding from several cuts.

'Come on!' she yells. She runs down a smooth cement sidewalk and jumps into the first truck she sees, into the passenger's seat. What? Does she expect me to drive?

'I can't drive!' I tell her.

'Get in the damn car, quick!' she ushers me into the driver's seat, 'You can do it, I know you can. Just turn the key and hit the pedal.' she says.

The keys are already in the machine, I think we're in an ambulance. I turn the key and hit a pedal, and somehow, out of a miracle, the car moves.

'Muscle memory,' she breathes, 'We did it. We're out.' she says, letting out a tender laugh.

And she's right. Somehow we got out. I'm going to the city.

I'm free.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Tris

* * *

As we drive to the city I tell Tobias where to go. He took his hat off, revealing wet hair dripping with sweat, and a white bandage wrapped around his head.

'Hold on, stop over here.' I tell him, pointing to a spot near the train tracks.

'What?' he asks, pulling over near the tracks.

'You're sweating. I'll take your bandage off,' I say, reaching forward to take it off. As my fingers brush the back of his neck, he grows rigid; not used to touch, 'There, you'll be less hot.' I say, pulling the white strip of gauze off. Our eyes meet for what seems to be minutes long. His eyes are a dark blue, almost black. In his left eye there's a small speck of light blue. They remind me of hope. To stay hopeful in the worst cases. I want him back.

I lean in to kiss him, closing my eyes but I hear him grunt and fall against the steering wheel. His foot hits the gas pedal and the car drives off. We're losing control of the van. My heart starts racing. It's heading towards a small house. On a whim, I push him against the back of the seat and grab the wheel. His dead weight falls back onto me, restricting any movement from my part. My hands are stuck on the wheel and the house is approaching quickly. I feel weak with horror. My eyes grow wide with terror. We're going to die. At the last moment, I yank the wheel as hard as I can to the right. We miss the house by a couple of centimeters. As I look forward and heave a shaky sigh of relief, we crash straight into another house. I faintly hear the glass shatter, the air bags inflate and my head hits where the hard part in the middle of the front seat is. I start to see black dots in the corners of my eyes and I try to get my hands free so I can sit myself up, but Tobias is too heavy, and I pass out.

* * *

Tobias

I open my eyes and lift my head up. The windscreen is shattered, revealing a rusty brick wall. Where my head rested, Tris' hands lay upon mine on the wheel. Her head is on my right leg, her body still in the passenger's seat.

When I looked into her eyes, I remembered another memory and I got dizzy and fainted. I must've pressed the pedal by accident and Tris tried to stop the car but I was blocking the wheel and brake.

I put my hand to my face and blood comes off of it. I don't feel the pain though. I lift Tris' small body up and lay her in her seat. My heart skips a beat as I take off her brace carefully and put two fingers to neck. She still has a pulse. I am filled with relief. Her face has even more cuts than before. Despite the cuts, though, she looks almost peaceful.

'Tris,' I say into her ear, 'Wake up.' I gently slap her cheeks a couple of times but she doesn't wake up. I decide to let her sleep while I look around the whole back section to the van.

There is a narrow white bed in the back and lots of yellow drawers with different drugs and utensils. I take a small towel, it's the only thing I really understand. I get back into the driver's seat and look in a small mirror above my head. I pour some water on the towel and dab it on my cuts. I haven't looked at myself in the mirror since I fainted two days ago. My hair is growing out on my chin. I look at myself. Why can't I control these episodes? This time was more… delayed, but I still lost consciousness. I hit the steering wheel with my fist out of anger.

I turn to the motionless Tris. A tear trickles down her cheek. I wonder what she's dreaming about. Her eyes open quickly and a gasp escapes her mouth. She starts to cry into her hands.

'Hey, it's okay.' I say to her. But it's not okay. It's my fault we crashed and she's crying now. If I could just control these episodes this wouldn't have happened.

I don't really know what to do. It would just feel weird to comfort her like a hurt puppy.

'Why are you crying?' I ask, but that's a stupid question because I'm pretty sure I know the answer.

'Sorry, it's nothing.' she says, avoiding my gaze.

'Here,' I pull down her mirror and give her the water and towel, 'I'm sorry that happened. I just… got a little dizzy.' I say.

'It's okay…' she says, still refusing to look at me.

She wipes away the blood on her face and her expression changes to confusion, 'What happened to my brace?' she asks, finally looking at me.

I scratch the back of my neck, 'Oh, uh, I had to take it off to check your pulse. You're pretty beaten up.' I say, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

'You know you could've checked it on my wrist.' she tells me, her eyebrows tilting upwards.

'Oh I didn't know. Memory loss remember?' I say. But the truth is I just didn't think of it at the time.

'We need to walk back. There's no way this van is going to work again.' she says, sighing. She jumps out of the van. How does she do it? How does she rebound so quickly?

I jump out after her, 'Wait, you forgot your brace.' I inform her.

'I don't need it.' she says firmly, waving her hand dismissively.

I catch up to her and we walk to the city in silence.

* * *

We reach the fence. It has a gaping hole in it – it's being taken down. I follow Tris over the pile of bricks as she struggles to get a grip. I hold my hand out to her to help her get over and she smiles at me in return. We walk through a wrecked city. The windows are broken, the wood and cement rotting. The buildings and houses are decaying with age.

She stops on a big street, 'This is Michigan Avenue. I don't know many places to stay besides Erudite headquarters, the Dauntless compound or the Hancock, so you can choose.' she says, but I don't get what she's saying. She clearly sees the loss of comprehension on my face.

'The Hancock building is where I'm staying. It's that big black building over there. Most of your and my friends are staying there,' she points to the building with girders criss-crossing to the top. It seems to be the second biggest building in the city, 'The second option I would choose is the Dauntless compound because there's a lot to do there from the war and all. Zeke also stays there a lot to help.' she explains.

I decide to stay in the Hancock, because it seems less lonely, and I've been isolated for a week now.

* * *

Tris leads me up to the floor above where she is staying in a moving box and leaves me there. When she closes the door, I look around. The wallpaper is peeling and the carpets are dirty, but it's big and I can look over the entire city from the window.

I guess I got my wish. I'm starting a new life.

* * *

Afternote: Okay, okay. I'm pretty ashamed to admit this – but I didn't write much on the plane, just this chapter. My computer ran out of battery because I might have been on Facebook at the airport… Sorry guys, but I hope you like this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Tris

* * *

'Christina… I think I'm ready to move out.' I say.

She almost spits out her breakfast, 'What?' she asks, bewildered.

'Umm I just said I think I'm ready to move out. I'm feeling a lot better and Tobias moved upstairs…' I say.

'Is this about Tobias?' she asks, raising her eyebrows, 'Cause if it is, it's not like you're going to move in with him anytime soon.' she says.

'I know,' I tell her, nodding my head, 'It's not about Tobias. It's about me. I feel better. The room below you is vacant, I think.' I say.

'Okay, whatever you say. But be sure to visit when you leave.' she says, sighing.

'Hey, Christina. I'm not moving to the other side of the city. We'll see each other.' I say laughing. She playfully punches me in my uninjured arm.

'Ow!' I cry out, faking it. I fall to the floor and clutch my arm.

'Oh my God! Oh my God, I'm so sorry!' Christina says, her light-hearted expression dropping.

I punch her back, 'Just kidding.'

'You little…' she starts, but I grab an apple and run towards the door.

'Catch you later!' I say, taking a bite of my apple and swinging open the door. I close the door softly and lock it with my keys.

'Hey.' someone says. I gasp, my heart skipping a beat. I turn around to face Tobias.

'Damn you, you scared me!' I yell at him, smiling. The corners of his mouth twitch. It reminds me of when I first met him.

'So… I was wondering if you could show me around the city today. I don't want to get lost while I'm here.' he asks.

'Sure, why not.' I say, stepping into the elevator. He steps in after me. The doors close and the box moves down.

* * *

We step out together and exit the building.

'How about we start with the furthest building?' I propose, pointing towards Erudite headquarters.

'Sure.' he says.

'This is Michigan avenue. Apparently, before the war, people used to shop here.' I tell him, opening my arms to the wide street.

He nods, 'Why was there a war?' he asks.

'There were some bad people, before. People who used to murder other innocents. The Bureau – the place you were in before – wanted to fix them. So they created experiments. This is the Chicago experiment. It didn't work out too well.' I explain, pursing my lips together as I think of the day my parents died. He doesn't ask for more information.

'There are, I mean were, five factions. Factions are groups of people who share the same quality-' I start.

'Brave, selfless, intelligent, honest and kind.' he says. He looks at me and sees my eyes go wide.

'How did you know that?' I ask, shocked. He scratches his neck. He always does that when he's nervous.

'Zeke told me.' he says, but I know he's lying.

'So anyways, there were five factions. The brave were called Dauntless. You and me were part of that faction, but we were born Abnegation, which were the selfless. The intelligent were Erudite, the honest were Candor and the kind were Amity,' I tell him, 'We're going to Erudite headquarters first.' a shiver runs through me. Tobias furrows his eyebrows at me, 'What's wrong?' he asks.

'Nothing… just some bad memories,' I say, 'I hear the train, come on!' I say, climbing up to the tracks.

I heave myself up onto the platform, Tobias close behind and start jogging.

'Just copy me!' I yell over the rumble of wheels.

I break into a sprint as the train comes into view. As it passes me, the wind hits my face and I feel a sudden rush of adrenaline. I lock my eyes on a handle and grab the rusty bar. I swing myself into the train, giggling. A few moments later, Tobias comes in and sits down next to me.

'That was fun.' he says.

'Good, because we're doing more of that later,' I say, 'I'm just going to go on and ask this.' I tell him.

'Ask what?' he asks, raising his eyebrows.

'Do you remember anything?' I ask hesitantly.

'No.' he says firmly.

I nod, 'Okay.' I say. He can't be telling the truth, he just can't.

* * *

We sit in silence until I stand up.

'Time to get off,' I say. I walk to the back wall of the train, like a coiled spring, 'Now!' I say, running towards the door. I jump off, landing on my feet with Tobias. We climb down the rusty metal post holding up the tracks.

'We just need to cross this bridge and we'll be there.' I tell him.

* * *

I stand in front of the tall white building.

'Here we are.' I say, grimacing.

'Looks… intimidating.' he says.

'It is.' I tell him truthfully.

The building towers over us, as if it has more authority. It probably does, with all the people who used to run it. I can't wait to step away from it. I tap Tobias' shoulder, breaking him out of his gaze. He looked like he was studying the building, though there's not much to study on a large white rectangle. Maybe he's searching for answers.

'Can I show you something?' I ask him.

'Why not?' he says, following me towards Millennium Park.

'This is Millennium Park,' I say, stepping onto the fresh grass. I have my eyes set on the big sculpture Tobias invited me on a date on, months ago, 'See that sculpture?' I point to it.

'Yeah,' he says, 'What about it?' he asks.

'It's one of my favorite places in the city. If you lay on one of the plates at night, you can look up at all the stars in the sky.' I tell him. I search his face for any sign of recognition as he narrows his eyes at the sculpture. I start walking to it. He follows me silently, like a robot. I have a sickening thought about the controlled Dauntless army.

When we reach the sculpture, I climb it and sit between the same two plates Tobias and me sat on. As I watch Tobias put his hand to the cold metal, his face turns pale and he sits down, leaning against one of the beams.

I slide down the plate to sit next to him. He looks nauseous. My heartbeat quickens. I lean over him.

'Tobias, look at me. Just keep looking at me, okay? Don't close your eyes.' I order him, taking his face in my hands. I will soon regret doing this, but I have to. My face contorts.

And I slap him.

* * *

Afternote: Cliff-hanger…! I have been sooo crazy busy and have had no time to do anything enjoyable. I have to pack for school, and I finished my two projects these past two days. You all have been extremely patient and I thank you for that! I really hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm leaving for school today so

Hopefully I don't throw up on the coach like I did last time (I had to puke in darkness in the bathroom because the lights weren't working )

I will not be posting as frequently, but I will be writing!

R&R por favor!


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